Our 'moral guardians' believe that the internet is a portal to hell, which of course is true, but it can also lead to many other destinations, including better sex. If we look past the sizeable chunk of porn (which I'm not sure bears any resemblance to 'real' sex anyway), there is a vast array of information and tools to help us explore our sensuality or at least fuel our fascination with all things naughty.
Porn has driven a lot of the technology that we see across the mainstream internet but it has pretty much-highjacked sex completely. Who hasn't secretly (or maybe not so secretly) found out their porn star name or thought about getting 'glamour shots' taken for that significant other? But as the pressures of modern life, family and work take their toll, who can really be bothered embracing their inner porn star (especially if it involves all that time-consuming waxing, plucking and primping), when just finding the time and energy to enjoy a quickie is hard enough. And I'm sure that with access to all that porn men and women could expand their sexual repertoire, but are more likely to compare themselves to what is deemed 'desirable' and become plagued by performance anxiety and stupidly unachievable expectations.
Maybe its time to reclaim sexuality and sensuality from the porn industry (and the media to some extent as well) and get on top of those expectations (pun intended) to bring the fun back into intimacy.
But where to start? I guess a good place would be a Sex Dictionary where you can get worked up on all those terms and even add some of your own, then if you want you can test your sex IQ. Or, if you are after a little history and are planning a trip to Japan, why not drop into one of the many freaky but fascinating Hihokan (sex museums).
With that out of the way, there are plenty of sites that offer couples and singles great tips on relationships, dating, mating, masturbation, size matters (you bet it does), sex dolls, erotic astrology, and even how to make your semen taste better (macrobiotically of course). There is such a huge amount of information that there really isn't any excuse for unimaginative sex even if much of it may be physically impossible for those of us who aren't double jointed (even though we would give it our best shot).
Of course don't forget Tantric sex, where if you can find the time and practice enough you can reach spiritual enlightenment and orgasm all at once (that could be handy). Or, for 'men only' who just want 'guilt-free sex with as many lovers as possible [and] learn to cheat and never get caught!' you can apparently buy this book and never look back. Pretty misogynistic by all accounts, and while it may work for a while a good dose of karma or some nasty STDs might catch up with these guys in the longer term. They won't feel guilty but they may feel some pain.
What about 'cybersex'?
A recent study in Canada found that 'young Canadians are digitizing their sex lives' and that some '87 percent of 2,484 students polled at 150 colleges and universities across Canada reported having "virtual sex" over instant messenger, webcams or the telephone'. Figures that I am sure are reflected here in Australia. It makes sense that as we increasingly use digital devices to communicate that we will also use these devices to assist in our intimate communications in the form of online chat, webcams and SMS texting. And why not? These devices probably help in getting us to express desires or fantasies that we might not have if face to face and can even help in keeping those fires of passion smoldering in longer-term relationships that might otherwise have stagnated. I still have wonderful flirtations with my partner via IM chat and occasional love letter emails.
Cybersex is the act of having sex, between two or more people, in a chatroom or in e-mails, or via webcams and VOIP connections. Many people use the anonymity of cybersex to explore sex in ways they wouldn't in real life and it is the perfect platform to explore fantasies and multiple partners (there are of course downsides with internet adultery, stalkers, and predators). There are of course many advantages to cybersex (apart from the obvious) especially for long distance relationships, chronically shy people and some people with disabilities.
State of the art virtual worlds are finally giving cybersex a new lease of life and in the increasingly popular, adults-only virtual world called 'Second Life', a player can pretend to be an elf, an animal, a superhero, a rock star, a porn star or just about anything he or she might imagine (you can even buy and sell real estate there). Once you have assumed your Second Life persona (called an avatar) it can become a no holds barred exploration of the virtual realm where you can fulfill your ultimate fantasy in your ultimate fantasy body, from your ultimate fantasy home. Some say its better than real life (maybe they need to get out more).
Virtual sex, however, where the user suits up in a 'machine that delivers a virtual experience so real that it is indistinguishable from actual sex' still has some way to go. Films, of course, have offered some tantalizing ideas in this space from the Pleasure Organ in Barbarella, the Orgasmatron in Sleeper. The future holds combinations of mess-free virtual sex on the holodeck that relies totally on stimulating neural transmitters in the brain to advanced sex machines and dolls - 'teledildonics' and 'fembots' that go way beyond that blow-up doll in the cupboard. And you can be sure that sex (rather than pure science) will be what drives these technologies into our lounge rooms and beyond. Let's just hope its worth the wait.
Porn has driven a lot of the technology that we see across the mainstream internet but it has pretty much-highjacked sex completely. Who hasn't secretly (or maybe not so secretly) found out their porn star name or thought about getting 'glamour shots' taken for that significant other? But as the pressures of modern life, family and work take their toll, who can really be bothered embracing their inner porn star (especially if it involves all that time-consuming waxing, plucking and primping), when just finding the time and energy to enjoy a quickie is hard enough. And I'm sure that with access to all that porn men and women could expand their sexual repertoire, but are more likely to compare themselves to what is deemed 'desirable' and become plagued by performance anxiety and stupidly unachievable expectations.
Maybe its time to reclaim sexuality and sensuality from the porn industry (and the media to some extent as well) and get on top of those expectations (pun intended) to bring the fun back into intimacy.
But where to start? I guess a good place would be a Sex Dictionary where you can get worked up on all those terms and even add some of your own, then if you want you can test your sex IQ. Or, if you are after a little history and are planning a trip to Japan, why not drop into one of the many freaky but fascinating Hihokan (sex museums).
With that out of the way, there are plenty of sites that offer couples and singles great tips on relationships, dating, mating, masturbation, size matters (you bet it does), sex dolls, erotic astrology, and even how to make your semen taste better (macrobiotically of course). There is such a huge amount of information that there really isn't any excuse for unimaginative sex even if much of it may be physically impossible for those of us who aren't double jointed (even though we would give it our best shot).
Of course don't forget Tantric sex, where if you can find the time and practice enough you can reach spiritual enlightenment and orgasm all at once (that could be handy). Or, for 'men only' who just want 'guilt-free sex with as many lovers as possible [and] learn to cheat and never get caught!' you can apparently buy this book and never look back. Pretty misogynistic by all accounts, and while it may work for a while a good dose of karma or some nasty STDs might catch up with these guys in the longer term. They won't feel guilty but they may feel some pain.
What about 'cybersex'?
A recent study in Canada found that 'young Canadians are digitizing their sex lives' and that some '87 percent of 2,484 students polled at 150 colleges and universities across Canada reported having "virtual sex" over instant messenger, webcams or the telephone'. Figures that I am sure are reflected here in Australia. It makes sense that as we increasingly use digital devices to communicate that we will also use these devices to assist in our intimate communications in the form of online chat, webcams and SMS texting. And why not? These devices probably help in getting us to express desires or fantasies that we might not have if face to face and can even help in keeping those fires of passion smoldering in longer-term relationships that might otherwise have stagnated. I still have wonderful flirtations with my partner via IM chat and occasional love letter emails.
Cybersex is the act of having sex, between two or more people, in a chatroom or in e-mails, or via webcams and VOIP connections. Many people use the anonymity of cybersex to explore sex in ways they wouldn't in real life and it is the perfect platform to explore fantasies and multiple partners (there are of course downsides with internet adultery, stalkers, and predators). There are of course many advantages to cybersex (apart from the obvious) especially for long distance relationships, chronically shy people and some people with disabilities.
State of the art virtual worlds are finally giving cybersex a new lease of life and in the increasingly popular, adults-only virtual world called 'Second Life', a player can pretend to be an elf, an animal, a superhero, a rock star, a porn star or just about anything he or she might imagine (you can even buy and sell real estate there). Once you have assumed your Second Life persona (called an avatar) it can become a no holds barred exploration of the virtual realm where you can fulfill your ultimate fantasy in your ultimate fantasy body, from your ultimate fantasy home. Some say its better than real life (maybe they need to get out more).
Virtual sex, however, where the user suits up in a 'machine that delivers a virtual experience so real that it is indistinguishable from actual sex' still has some way to go. Films, of course, have offered some tantalizing ideas in this space from the Pleasure Organ in Barbarella, the Orgasmatron in Sleeper. The future holds combinations of mess-free virtual sex on the holodeck that relies totally on stimulating neural transmitters in the brain to advanced sex machines and dolls - 'teledildonics' and 'fembots' that go way beyond that blow-up doll in the cupboard. And you can be sure that sex (rather than pure science) will be what drives these technologies into our lounge rooms and beyond. Let's just hope its worth the wait.
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